Empowered Legacy
New Beginnings
Most of us get to a point when we start to ask ourselves what will I leave behind? Once I have achieved at a high level in my own life, what legacy will I leave… what impact will I have had? What knowledge will I have shared? It is natural to at some point move past the goals and desires for ourselves, and to focus on contribution and legacy.
Often, this is not always as easy as one might think. We attempt to share our knowledge and open up, but we are met with resistance. Sometimes family life can get very dark. At times, we lose our way - we get off track. We distance ourselves from the best of who we are and why we are here.
Unfortunately, what helped us succeed earlier in our lives does not always lend itself to succeeding as quickly or in the same way in the next phase of our lives. The landscape is different, and we must approach these new situations differently. Sometimes, it requires us to build new skills. As a young adult personal development expert, I see many parents, grandparents, business leaders and coaches approach working with the next generation from a top down approach. They feel because they have accrued experiences and a level of success young adults should be grateful for their wisdom and guidance.
Despite parents and leaders have the best intentions, they quickly find many young adults today are just not interested. Now I know this is not exclusively unique to this generation. For millennia younger adults get to a point when they feel they know what they want for their own lives, but it does seem young adults today are just not as receptive.
Now we can go round and round about why that may be and hypothesize about where things went wrong – parents would probably like to blame society, society wants to blame parents, etc. but the fact remains, I see many young adults who are lost.
They may love their parents very much, but they feel a very real struggle. They want to feel free to live their own lives, but they do not know how to receive input. They want to be independent, but they either do not feel capable or they do not have the tools yet to soar on their own.
In this new year, in this new decade, we have a tremendous opportunity to start fresh with how we connect with future generations. When working with the young adults in our lives, we have an opportunity to learn and grow our own skills.
The world is always changing, but the pace of change is accelerating with the exponential technologies on the very near horizon. As adults, it is our responsibility (and our reward) to empower the next generation for an exponential world and how to cope with massive change and growing pains.
Additionally, it is an opportunity for us to grow, learn and adapt. Our ability to do just that models the type of character we hope to instill in our young people as well as gives us the chance to deepen our bond and long-lasting impact.
If we can model a thirst for knowledge, a willingness to learn, being comfortable in unfamiliar territory and a lifelong commitment to personal growth and contribution; these are all traits young people will observe and have an opportunity to adopt.
This is the commitment I make to the young people I work with. The more I can learn from them and model the behaviors I encourage them to embody the better I am as a coach; the more effective, skilled and impactful I become.
Furthermore, there is a level of trust which is built when I can show vulnerability. Young people are often intimidated or turned off by a perceived perfection. They cannot relate.
So in this new month, new year, new decade, we have a chance to connect with the next generation in a new way. The foundation will be built on our ability to relate and collaborate.
Connection equals influence.
A new year does not mean the challenges of yesterday go away, but it does mean we can start the work of solution-oriented approaches rather than problem-focused conversations. We can see with new eyes how consistently revisiting points of contention with our children nothing improves, but rather our relationship continues to fray. We can admit when we have erred or made mistakes.
We can communicate our genuine interest in helping our young people get to the next level in their lives; the next level of happiness, success, health, wealth, meaningful relationships and contribution. We can share getting to the next level is seldom a straight path, but rather a winding road; and we are there for guidance along the way. We can share our long-term dreams and aspirations and inspire them to cultivate optimism, grit and tenacity.
The truth is the young adults in our lives will benefit greatly from our support during the potentially turbulent years ahead. Our role is not to remove the turbulence, but to empower them with the skills and resources to rise above it once it is encountered; which builds confidence and facilitates their success.
Empowered Living for Young Adults!
Career, Financial and Life Skills Training
What We Are Discussing in Empowered Living
A large portion of the training and coaching time will be focused on the power of taking responsibility for one’s life – thoughts, energy and actions.
Personal responsibility means our ability to respond. In any given situation, if we feel we do not have the ability to respond we feel helpless or fearful; which increases the likelihood of rash decision making, apathy and atrophy.
We are constantly thinking about how things might go, why things went a certain way, what if this happens, what if that happens. We are obsessed with memory of the past and worrying about the future. We are continually distracted by the constant stream of thoughts, most of which are not supportive, and all too often are downright destructive. So much energy is waste in worry.
By taking personal responsibility we can shift the focus on what can be done.
Also, when our lives do not look the way we would like, it becomes easy to blame or fantasize how if those around us made different choices our lives would improve. This is a recipe for unhappiness and disappointment.
Life is up to us to discover, create, personalize and invent.
But why is there this hesitance to take responsibility? There can be the obvious reasons - with personal responsibility comes necessary effort and accountability. Behind the reluctance to accept responsibility can be the unwillingness to expose ourselves to scrutiny.
Even deeper, there can be a feeling of not being enough. Many young people, despite an outward appearance or high self-confidence, still feel they are not good enough. They feel like no matter what they do, it is never enough. If there is no guarantee an endeavor will go ‘perfectly’, then why go for it. Thus, the mistake of waiting in the hopes to one day be good enough or to be ‘ready’ results in years of aimlessness.
Some may think, by taking complete personal responsibility life becomes harder and more burdensome, but the exact opposite is true.
True Power, True Freedom lies in taking personal responsibility; not blaming nor deciding fault, but rather taking ownership of my experience and what action to take next.
By controlling my experience, it does not matter what happens around me, I am free to feel joy and serenity within me. This is my choice, and this is my superpower.
The ability to take full responsibility allows you to reclaim your power. When we point to others or to circumstance as to why something happened or cannot happen, we give our power away. Our ability to respond is our ability to improve our current circumstances.
The purpose of life is not to completely avoid risk and mistakes, but instead to learn to control our inner experience no matter what happens around us and to learn from our mistakes.
We can either choose to remain stuck and stagnate or we can improve and grow.
When experiencing hardship or conflict, we must decide we no longer want to stay where we are. Once we have made the decision, the first step to take is to take responsibility of where we are and where we go from here. Knowing it is our responsibility to take action to move us closer to what we desire most for ourselves and our lives.
Personal responsibility and self-discipline lead to the highest level of personal freedom.
How to Connect With the Next Generation This Month
Teach something you are skilled in and learn something new from a young family member. Allow them to teach you something you know nothing or very little about. Not only does this allow you to connect more effectively, it actually helps the young person be more willing and open to learn from you.
Teaching is a great way to learn. You will also have a greater ability to truly understand more about your young child or grandchild. What interests them and why?
This is also a great opportunity to model active listening and respect; which is a crucial skill young adults need to cultivate.
I hope this creates a new opportunity to bond with your young family member.
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